Sorry for being so rubbish!

Firstly, I want to apologise for being such a rubbish blogger and for not replying to all your lovely comments.

So, an update...

I've been trying to eat a little more for the last few days; partly to try to wake my metabolism up a bit and partly to help me concentrate on revision a little better. I don't think I've gained any weight but I doubt I'll be losing too much this week as a result of the slight increase in calories.

Today, I'm switching back down to 500 or less because frankly, eating more is driving me crazy. I feel so dirty when I eat more - does anyone else get like that?

Also, eating more seems to exhaust me which is weird I guess. Anyway, today, I'm planning to have:

- small portion of porridge (~80 calories)

- small salad for lunch, possibly (~50 calories)

- salad with baked white fish (200 calories?)

I've already had the porridge, and despite being a small bowl, it took me an hour to eat so it's not 11.30am and so lunch is looking unlikely. That said, my metabolism has definitely picked up because I've been getting so hungry these last few days and that never happens! So maybe I will be hungry for lunch? Actually though, there's no way I'm eating anything before 1pm, as I've only just finished breakfast and then I'm not going to eat after 1 because by then, I might as well stick it out for dinner, so yeah, I think lunch is off the cards.

My boyfriend is starting a new diet today - he's eating 5 meals a day, up to 1800 calories-ish. I'm not really happy about it tbh, because he's tall and has quite a muscular build and I really don't think 1800 calories is enough, especially when he's only trying to get a couple of inches off his tummy (he literally has no fat anywhere else). I'm such a hypocrite though - here I am stressing about him eating 1800 and I'm planning to eat less than 500?

Ahhhh. My head is such a mess right now. I just want to lose this weight. I feel so fat and disgusting...